But why are the Girls Gone?
by Kawaii-Akuhei
Summary: The sequel to 'Definition of Love.' Yuna and Tidus throw a party for Aeris and Cloud, inviting varoius characters from FMA, InuYasha, and sCRYed. But what happens when all the girls mysteriously start disappearing? Rated for language and suggestive themes
1. Blue Markers

**But why are all the girls gone? **

**Disclaimer: **We own none of this. Only the plot.heeheehee

**Author's Note: **Alright, since everyone thought it was a good idea, here is the **sequel **to **Definition of Love.** Be warned, if you haven't read our other story (DoL) you won't understand some of the jokes in this one. We recommend that you read that one first!

Anyway, this is the secondfanfic I (Kawaii Fantasy) and Akuhei no Kyouwa have ever written. It includes all of the characters from our other story (more specifically, characters from: Final Fantasy, InuYasha, Full Metal Alchemist, and sCRYed) and a lot of them are very OOC. Please don't be offended! Moving on, this story's about a 'welcome home' party that Tidus and Yuna throw for Aeris and Cloud in celebration of them getting out of jail (you won't get it unless you've read our other fic). It involves tons of sake, car chases, Barny, and scary party games. You have been warned... dun dun dunnnn.

And if you like it, pleeease review! ...oh and since we're in the process of writing this, we won't update as frequently as we did our other story...but if you leave tons of reviews that just might change. -hint hint wink wink-

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**Chapter One…Blue Markers **

**Group One…Sake**

"Tachibana, got any sake?" Kazuma wondered, making himself at home on Tachibana's couch.

"Yeah…I bought a new shipment today," he said, absentmindedly.

"From who?"

"Barney."

"Have I not warned you of that treacherous animal?" Ryuhou pleaded.

"Who are you calling a treacherous animal?" Barney asked, bursting in through the window, pulling out a rifle.

"Dad!" Cougar jumped up happily, hurrying to the purple reptile.

"I think you've had a bit too much sake, Cougar." Mimori stated.

"What? You're not supposed to have any of my sake! I'm saving it for Cammy! Our hott date's tonight."

"Damn…I wanted to get Minori-san drunk so we could take over your bed," Cougar sighed. Mimori smacked him, and Ryuhou decided not to notice. Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Tachibana picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Is Ryuhou there?"

"How did you get this number?"

"Is Ryuhou there, dammit!" Tachibana gave the phone to Ryuhou.

"Yes?"  
"We're throwing a party!"

"May I ask who is speaking?"

"WE WERE FLYING THROUGH DA CLOUDZ!" Ryuhou pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it. He could hear arguing in the background.

"Cloud! Give the phone back to Yuna! Don't make me pull out my taser!"

"Ryuhou? Are you there? It's Yuna…again. We're in jail."

"Did you hug a minor too?"

"No! We bailed Aeris and Cloud out! And now we're throwing a party. So, we've invited you, Mimori, Cougar, and Kazuma to join us in our celebration."

"Sounds intriguing. Where, may I ask?"

"Motel-5!" No one said a word.

"Tachibana, would you like to come?" Mimori asked, being polite.

"No! With you freaks gone, me and Cammy can finally have the house to ourselves!"

"I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!" Mimori started crying as she ran towards the restroom.

"WAIT! THERE'S NO McFLURRY IN MY BATHROOM!" Tachibana warned her, wanting to save her a trip. She, instead, ran to his bedroom.

"YES! WE CAN HAVE THE BED TO OURSELVES NOW!" Cougar jumped up happily, only to be punched by Kazuma.

"YOU HORNY BASTARD! …she's mine!" With that, Cougar and Kazuma raced to the bedroom doors, only to be stopped by Zetsuei.

"I shall enter…I would like a cup of sugar…er…never mind." Ryuhou walked back to his place on the couch. "Barney, I need more juice…"

**Group Two…Arthritis**

"SIT, BOY!" Kagome screamed at Inuyasha as he rummaged through her underwear drawer curiously. Kikyou pulled out her bow and arrows.

"DIE!"

"Will you please stop trying to F--KING KILL ME!" Inuyasha screamed.

"No." "SIT, BOY!" "DIE!" The girls yelled furiously.

"SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID INSIGNIFICANT PROBLEMS!" Sesshomaru yelled, losing his temper. Kouga and Ayame were sitting on Kagome's bed, watching everyone fight. The five were in Kagome's house, seeing as fighting evil demons was getting boring…and painful.

Before Inuyasha could protest, Kagome's phone started ringing. Not waiting for anyone to pick it up, he grabbed it.

"What do you want?"

"Inuyasha?"

"STALKER!"

"No! It's Aeris."

"Who?"

"……………………"

"Give it to me you idiot," Kikyou said, forcing the phone from the dog boy.

"What is it Aeris?"

"We got out of jail!"

"So?" She could hear Cloud sniffling in the back.

"So…we're throwing a party!"

"So?"

"SO YOU'RE INVITED!"

"Well, that changes everything! Where is it?"

"Motel-5!"

"Didn't we kill the sheep-owners?"

"Well, it's still open. And we rented the whole place out."

"Okay."

"Okay…well…are you gonna come?"

"Is Barney catering!" Inuyasha asked, grabbing the phone from Kikyou's clutches.

"HECK YES!" Tidus screamed in the distance.

"Okay, anyway. It's tomorrow…so come."

"We be soo comin' foo!"

"Can I come?" Kagome asked hopefully.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE MISSY! HOJO'S COMING TOMORROW WITH YOUR ARTHRITIS MEDICINE!" her grandpa screamed from the kitchen.

"What? I don't have arthritis!"

"You will tomorrow!" Kagome sat on her bed and sulked. Inuyasha put down the phone and grinned.

"BARNEY! AND THAT MEANS SAKE!" The others stared.

**Group Three…I see dead people!**

"Kagayaku, sekai ga, kono te ni afure!" Ed sang happily. Winry threw a wrench at him.

"SHUT UP! YOU'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SONG ALL DAY!"

"Roy!" Maes Hughes walked into Roy's office happily, seeing Winry and Ed having a blazing row. He walked over them, ignoring their screams.

("WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SOUND LIKE A FREAKIN WOMAN! You sound better than me dammit!" "Just cause my voice is as light as a feather doesn't mean that I sound like a F--KIN' WOMAN!" "Yes it does…" "NO it doesn't!" "You just go on thinking that…'cause the braid certainly doesn't help your situation…you know what? You should get a rack…" "EXCUSE ME! EVEN IF I DID GET ONE IT WOULD BE NOTHING COMPARED TO YOURS!" Another wrench was flung, and Ed lay unconscious on the ground.)

"Maes? I thought you were dead!" Roy asked, stupefied.

"Nope! They buried me alive! It was a bit uncomfortable really." Everyone stared at the 'dead' man.

"Are you really alive?" Al said, walking over and poking the man. He brushed his hand away and pulled something out of his pocket.

"OMFG IT'S A GUN! EVERYONE TAKE COVER!" Ed screamed, waking up and hiding behind Winry.

"You idiot, only Riza shoots people!"

"Look! Elicia! She's so cute!" Hughes said, waving the picture in Roy's face. Roy proceeded to set the man on fire.

"ROY! NO LIGHTING FIRE IN YOUR OFFICE!" Riza commanded. Amazingly, the phone rang! You can only guess who was on it.

"Hello? Lt. Colonel Mustang here."

"OMG IS IT ROY? TELL HIM I SAY HI!"

"SHUT UP TIDUS! Roy? Hey! It's Yuna!"

"What happened to Tidus?"

"I tied him up. Anyway, Aeris and Cloud got out of jail! …or rather, we bailed them out, but that's besides the point. WE'RE THROWING A PARTY!"

"A party? Where?"

"MOTEL-5!"

"Shouldn't we be banned from there after killing the owners?" Al asked.

"We rented the place out!" Yuna continued, choosing not to answer the question, "so come by there tomorrow!" with that, she hung up.

"Looks like we're going to a party!" Envy grinned. No one bothered to ask how he showed up, as they could see broken glass littering the ground near the area the window once occupied, "Hey, what do we do about Hughes? Didn't I kill you?"

"I can't come! I need to dig my coffin back up and pretend I'm dead so they don't get suspicious!" he said with shifty eyes, "WAIT! THAT WAS YOU WHO SHOT ME!" He ran out of the office.

**Group Four…Pete **

"Okay, so we've invited everyone," Yuna stated as she set the phone down.

"Where's my pet mothball?" Cloud cried.

"What?" Tidus asked, confused.

"Er…Cloud found a mothball in our jail cell…and he named it Pete…" Aeris said. They all turned to Cloud, who was standing over a pile of junk on the floor.

"NOOO! IT'S PROBABLY LOST UNDER A PILE OF…oh…never mind. IT'S HERE!" he picked up the mothball and started caressing it in a little corner of the room.

"How'd you guys get the money to bail us out?" Aeris wondered.

"Oh. That was easy. We broke into Cloud's bank account and took everything out of it. You had a lot of money, you know. Enough to buy Aeris that ring she wanted for Valentine's Day," Yuna told everyone.

"Oh. Shit," Cloud whispered. He had hidden all his money and apologized to Aeris for not being able to buy her the ring, when in reality he was stashing it away to buy a rabid monkey for Pete.

"YOU DIDN'T BUY ME THAT RING! AND YOU HAD THE MONEY!" Aeris screeched. The two started fighting, forgetting they had a party to plan for.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO! WE NEED TO START PLANNING FOR TOMORROW!" The happy couple decided to cooperate, but were horrified to see Tidus conversing with his toes in the other corner of the room.

"Ignore him." Yuna commanded. So, the three got to work.

"Wait…" Tidus said, interrupting the plot, "this chapter had nothing to do with blue markers!" Suddenly, a floating hand flew down and handed one to him, "YAY!"

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**Author's Note: **Alright, you know the drill. Review, and you get a second chapter. Don't review, and well...we'll not get into that...


	2. Not yet

**Disclaimer: **We don't own anything...you know how it is...

**Author's Note: **Yay, chapter two! Thanks for the many reviews, they were loved! -less than three- this chapter is really...ummm...interesting...yes! So if that scares the hell out of you...sorry! They are not picking flowers though! -wink- heeheehee... -sweatdrop- Moving on...enjoy! ...? Just...keep the reviews coming and everything will be A-OK. -thumbs up-

**Yay! Thank you Reviewers:  
death88: **Another hundred! -dances- We posted two of our stories so people could view them in two different anime sections. We would have posted them in Inuyasha and Final Fantasy VII/X too, but we're far too lazy. Thanks for your review, though! We're glad we're not deprived of your wonderful scoring!  
**Kitty: **Ummm...define romance... If you're talking about drunk spin-the-bottle games...yes...? -sweatdrop- Thank you for the review! We just love anonymous reviewers... -hug-  
**HikariUSA: **We're so glad you loved the sequel! We're trying hard to make it as funny as the last one...and we hope we're doing a good job of it. Muchas gracias para el...review!  
**evilchik: **Heehee we love Barney. Especially when he sells juice. -cough- We're glad you find the sequel funny! Thanks for your review!  
**Kari Mezmaru: **Yay! Youlike both of ourstories! We feel loved.Joy! Thanks for all of your reviews...we love them!  
**Atena: **There wasn't really much to understand in our other fic...it was mainly just random shit. We're still glad you liked it though, and we're even happier that you think both of our stories are funny!  
**Amanda: **That was soo sweet! It makes us happy when people laugh at our useless fics...and us. We're just awesome like that. -modest- Hahahaha. Thanks a ton for the review.  
**xsnowboarderx: **You think it's funnier than the last one? That's awesome! We really are trying...really! heeheehee. Thanks for all the reviews in this story and our last one... we love them!  
**2goodygurl: **Ummm...**excuse us?** Well, we're sorry for not putting Kanami in this story, but you'll have to deal. And I highly doubt we'll lose reviewers if you stop reading...you see, we have LOYAL fans who deal with what we have to offer. They are nice enough not to complain. Just to end this without throwing a BF, please refrain from commenting if it's going to be just as useless, annoying, and hurtful as this one was. You might not think this, but**your reviewreally did** **hurt our feelings.** Thank you.  
**djdoodet: **Hahahahahahahaha your review was hysterical! Yeah, it's quite random...but we're glad it made you laugh. Please keep reviewing!

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**Chapter Two…Not _yet…_**

**Group One...Sunset**

Ryuhou, Mimori, Kazuma, and Cougar all hopped out of Tachibana's car, which they stole, and walked hesitantly towards the infamous Motel 5.

"I really hope he doesn't file a report for a missing vehicle…" Mimori sighed as she walked alongside Ryuhou.

"If he does, we can lie and say Cougar did it," Kazuma suggested.

"Well, since I am faster than everyone I suppose I could get away easily," Cougar thought aloud, "Minori-san could uncover for me…" he added with a wink. Mimori turned scarlet.

"Whoops, did I say uncover? I meant…er…cover…of course. You must think I'm a pervert…is there any way I could make it up to you?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her waist. Ryuhou decided not to notice, while Mimori pushed the perverted idiot off of her.

"So…what happens if we really _do_ get caught?" Mimori asked nervously.

"We'll fight them! W3 g07 m4d 5k1llz0rz f00," Kazuma chirped.

"Yes, we all ph34r y0ur m4d l337 l1ng0," Kimishima stated showing up out of nowhere in particular. "My advice would be to make a run for it though."

"How'd you show up? Didn't you die?"

"Same way Hughes did."

"Who's Hughes?"

"J00 m4m4."

"PLEASE STOP WITH THE L337. It's waay too overused and difficult to understand…" Mimori sighed fed up with the l337n355.

"L375 u53 l337 ju57 t0 m4k3 m1n0r1-54n 4ngry," Cougar laughed.

"H3CK Y35!" Kimishima agreed.

"50 Ryuh0u…h0w'5 M1m0r1 1n b3d?" Kazuma asked a wide-eyed Ryuhou.

"W3ll…I h4v3 t0 54y 7h47 5h3'5 4 l07 m0r3 3nj0y4bl3 7h4n 7h053 07h3r g1rl5 1'v3 b0ugh7…"

"N111c3…m1nd 1f 1 t4k3 h3r f0r a 7357 dr1v3?" Kazuma asked, hopefully.

"W3ll, th3r3 m4y b3 4 5m4ll f33, bu7 1 d0n'7 533 7h3 h4rm 1n 7h47."

"W3 c4n ju57 g37 h3r 4 b17 drunk…whoops, I let the l337 slip…" Cougar winked. Mimori looked petrified. Throughout the four perverts' conversation, the only words she had picked out were "how," "bed," "girls," "bought," and "drunk." She turned around to head back towards the car, but was stopped by Kazuma and Kimishima, evil glints in their eyes.

"OH MY HOLY I'M GOING TO BE R4P3D. H3y, 1 f1n4lly g07 7h3 l337 7h1ng d0wn!"

"D4mm17, d035 7h47 m34n w3 d0n'7 g37 7h3 7357 dr1v3?" Kimishima asked heartbroken.

"WHAT!" Mimori screamed, finally understanding what they were talking about.

"I can't believe you men. Why would I let you take advantage of such a fine woman? It is utterly disturbing. Come on Mimori, let us continue towards the building while we leave these horrible men to drown in their guilt." Ryuhou covered himself up to avoid the wrath of Mimori. He looked over his shoulder and mouthed out something to the guys. _"We'll discuss it later."_

The others winked in response.

"Shouldn't you be going, Kimishima? The readers will wonder if you're really dead or not…"Kazuma inquired.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Suddenly, Kimishima spotted Hughes flat against the wall, as if he were being chased by a rabid housewife. He had his fingers positioned like a gun, and was humming his own theme song.

"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts…" he hummed. The three men raised their eyebrows, and Kimishima merrily skipped over to join Hughes in escaping. Together they pranced their way towards the sunset. It was so magical!

"WTF? Sunset! It's not even noon!" Kazuma yelled, confused.

"Not _yet…_" Cougar simply replied.

**Group Two...I _was _just joking... **

Inuyasha, Kikyou, Sesshomaru, Kouga, and Ayame jumped out of the pimpin' minivan. Gotta love that van… Kouga once again jumped out of the driver's seat, as Inuyasha was too injured to drive his own car.

"See? This is what happens when two wenches like you and Kagome gang up on me!" he yelled angrily at Kikyou. She merely pulled out her bow and arrows and pointed them in his direction.

"Keep walking, dog boy," Kikyou commanded, shoving Inuyasha in the back with the arrow tip. Fearing for his life, Inuyasha obeyed.

"This Sesshomaru fears that he may have to **DESTROY YOU TWO** if you don't stop arguing," Sesshomaru forced, getting pissed off due to Inuyasha's constant complaints and Kikyou's bow and arrows.

"So, do you think Hojo's at Kagome's yet?" Kouga asked, worried, "I hope she doesn't _really_ have arthritis…"

"What, are you WORRIED about her?" Ayame yelled angrily.

"N-no…I was just…uhhh…"

"Do you WANT me to mess your face up!" Ayame screamed, turning slightly red due to anger.

"I am _surrounded _by idiots…" Sesshomaru sighed, pulling out some sticky notes.

"You really shouldn't have let Envy give you that book…" Inuyasha piped up, seeing Sesshomaru writing things down.

"_What_ book?" Ayame questioned.

"How to Take over the World in 80 Days…"

"Read it…didn't work. Fluffy, may I suggest you try Annihilation by Sticky Notes since you seem fond of them." Kikyou commented.

"First of all, never call this Sesshomaru Fluffy in public…only in the bedroom," Inuyasha twitched violently, "Second, thank you. I think I shall try that book out instead. Envy has passed on his passion of sticky notes to me and now I can't seem to get enough."

"What do you mean 'only in the bedroom!'" Inuyasha questioned.

"I decided that since Kagome has Hojo _and _Kouga, I wanted two men as well. Thus, Sesshomaru was the perfect man for the job. He even picked up my 'help wanted' flier," Kikyou informed him.

"It was such a pretty flier too…with little pink hearts and flowers lining the exquisite gold-rimmed border, beautiful calligraphy if I do say so myself…" Sesshomaru thought aloud. "And I do say so." Every head turned to his direction.

"You're cheating on me with my own brother!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH KAGOME!" Ayame screeched.

"Half brother…but yes. Have a problem with that, dog boy?" Kikyou said, ignoring Ayame.

"What about _us_! I thought we loved each other!"

"Well, I do love you. But after you completely blew me off for Miroku that one day, I had to find someone else."

"Oh, about that…er…I wasn't myself that day. I swear! He forced me…it was a life or death situation!"

"Weren't you guys just off to get more firewood?" Kikyou questioned, "I _was_ just joking you know…"

"Oh…errr…………"

"You're gay? And I learn about this now! Now it all makes sense to me! All those times we were fighting…you were just in it to look up my skirt, weren't you!" Kouga started crying. "I have never felt so violated." At this he started sobbing uncontrollably.

"NO! I'M NOT GAY! I SWEAR!" Inuyasha yelled, lashing out his Tetsusaiga, "I'm gonna make you believe it too!"

"Let's just keep going, shall we? We don't want any bloodshed yet…" Ayame stated, glaring at Kouga.

"Not _yet…"_Inuyasha said, grinning slightly.

**Group Three...Cowboys**

Roy, Riza, Ed, Al, and Winry stepped out of Al's Nissan **(A/N: Another pun!)**, after giving Ed some therapy and explaining to him that a Nissan was a _car_. Oh, if you're wondering why Envy's not here, it's because he had decided he wanted to look his best, just for Ed. No one questioned that bit of information.

**---Flashback---**

"So we're going to the party, right?" Envy asked stupidly.

"Yeah. Al, mind if we ride your Nissan?" Roy suggested, smirking, already playing out Ed's reaction in his mind. It was indeed him who suggested Al buy a Nissan in the first place.

"WHAT!" Ed screamed, hearing Roy's comment, only making him grin more widely.

"You heard me shorty, we're going to ride Al's Nissan. You have a problem with that?"

"EXCUSE ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE RIDDEN! …AND I'M NOT SHORT!" Ed said, turning steadily redder.

"Great! That means I won't be the only one who's ever ridden a Nissan!" Winry said happily.

"Wait, there were others before me!" Ed screeched.

"Uhh…we don't need to hear about your love life, Elric." Riza commanded, turning away from the idiot.

"Hagane no chibi san! I thought you were in love with me!" Envy cried.

"What do you mean 'in love with me?'" Al questioned nervously.

"Oh, weren't you there? The Christmas party? Remember all that sake… Well, poor Edo here had a bit too much so I stuffed him into the pool house and…whoops, I've said too much," Envy cut off, grinning from ear to ear. Ed passed out in total disgust and fright.

"Envy, wanna give him CPR? Or should I take over?" Roy suggested. Winry twitched.

"So…this is what Ed does for pleasure…" Winry sighed as she stared over the boy. Al looked completely distraught and went to a little corner and proceeded to bang his head against the wall repeatedly.

"My own brother…why didn't he tell me!" he screamed.

"COLONEL!" Riza screamed at Roy, ticked off due to his latest perverted comment. She instead pulled out her gun and shot it half an inch above Ed's nose, hitting the floor next to him instead. Ed woke up immediately, and started rocking back and forth while mumbling something along the lines of "Christmas party," "pool house," and "mommy." The others shook their heads in dismay…

**---End Flashback---  
**"Nissan…Nissan…Niisssaaaaann…" Ed chanted as he stumbled to walk properly.

"Wasn't it fun though?" Roy asked innocently, "I mean, I've always wanted to ride a Nissan at least once in my life." Ed fell flat on his face.

"Colonel, please don't drive the boy off the edge completely…" Riza sighed as she stepped over Ed. "Although Al's Nissan was very comfortable…best ride I've had in a while. Although Havoc's was quite nice I must say…" Roy twitched.

"Can we just go, please?" Al pleaded, not wanting to hear anymore than his poor ears would let him. His face looked positively green and he was thinking about returning the car. "Next time, we're all riding the Mustang." _Damn._ "Disregard what I just said."

"Okay, let's just move on and pretend that conversation never happened." Winry suggested.

"Hey guys!" Envy said, appearing behind the group. Ed, who had recently gotten back up backed away and ran behind Roy for cover. "Aww…Edo…are you still mad at me?" Envy whimpered with huge puppy-dog eyes, "well, at least don't go gay on me…you're hiding behind_ Mustang _for Pete's sake."

"You mean Ed's _not_ gay!" Al exclaimed happily, as Ed jumped away from Roy and instead hid behind Riza. At least she had weapons… and was a woman.

"Not _yet…" _Envy thought with a grin.

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**Author's Note: **So yeah, here's the second chappie. Keep reviewing if you want to keep reading! ...and you really do. -grin- But since schools are starting...we won't be updating as frequently and the chapters won't be as long as these... Don't blame us...I mean, we're not even going to the same school anymore! -**cries a lot- **


	3. Return of the Penguins!

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing but the plot.

**Author's Note: **So so so so sooooooooo sorry for the delay! We've been busy with school...and not seeing each other! -cries- But it's okay, because I saw Akuhei yesterday! -big grin- That was awesome. So yes, here is chapter three. Once again, sorry about the delay! And we won't be able to update again until next Saturday or Sunday...gomen nasai!Well, enjoy this chapter!

**Reviewers:  
HikariUSA: **Yeah, the guys are such pervs... pigs. Hahahahaha we're so glad you liked it, though! Please keep writing!  
**death88: **hahahahaha I definitely just responded to your other review! Hahahaha yess 400! Thanks a ton for all the reviews!  
**oathkeeperlizxy92: **Yaaay! You LIKE IT! Hahahahaha please keep reading! We are **sure **you'll like it! -wink wink- Thanks for the review!  
**Diverse-Thinker: **You...are so awesome. Thanks so much for that review - it seriously made my day! -hug- We're so glad that you liked the story! Yeah, we're still gonna keep in touch. It's our goal! hahahahahaha thanks a billion times for that review!  
**Kari Mezmaru: **Yay! You understand us! Hahahaha thanks for the review, and we're so glad you liked the story!  
**kaitou angel: **hahahaha we're really glad that you liked the story! Please keep reading, because I assure you you'll love it! And keep reviewing! We loove hearing reviews!

**

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**Chapter Three…Return of the penguins! **

As each group headed towards the Motel-5, they saw their old friends walk in from different directions. After a few minutes of reuniting in the parking lot, yadda yadda yadda, everyone headed inside to the party.

"Can I take your coat ma'am?" a random voice from out of nowhere asked politely.

"Where is that from?"

"Who's there?"

"WTF? I don't have a coat…"

"WAAH!" Ed screamed, noticing the speaker. He also noticed that the 'speaker' was gesturing to him. "I'M NOT A WOMAN!"

"Why are you screaming, Edward?" Winry asked.

"T-that penguin thinks I'm a WOMAN!"

"If there were indeed a penguin there, it would lack the ability to converse," Ryuhou informed.

"But there really is a penguin!" Ed pleaded. Everyone bent down to his level.

"Ohhh…I get it, you can see it because only _you're _that short!" Ayame said. Ed merely glared at her, too shocked at the sight of a talking penguin to respond.

"Can penguins talk too?" Al pondered.

"No sweetie," Mimori replied. "They can't fly either if that's what you're thinking."

"A-hem," the penguin began again, obviously annoyed by the untruthful comments, "May I take your COAT!" Everyone jumped.

"Just hand over the coat, foo," Inuyasha said.

"WHAT? No way! It's mine!" At that, the penguin flew up and snatched it from Ed's grasp.

"Wait a minute here. How come you give a penguin your coat, but you never have the decency to give it to me? I'm so hurt, Edo!" Envy whined.

"Erm…once again, we don't need to hear about your love life, Elric…" Riza sighed.

"Come on, let's save all this getting' down for the part-ay," Cougar grinned.

"Good thinking, sir. The hosts are waiting patiently in the next room. Please follow Sebastian," the penguin interrupted, gesturing towards a second penguin. They followed the little butler to the main room.

"Where are they?" Tidus cried, tired of waiting.

"Shut up, Tidus. No one needs to hear you complaining…" Yuna commanded.

"Hey, you can come talk to me and Pete, if you're bored," Cloud offered, only to receive nervous stares from the rest, "What?"

"Just…don't let the others know you have a pet mothball…" Aeris sighed.

"Who has a pet mothball?" Kazuma asked curiously. The others had walked in on the end of their conversation.

"Uhh…no one!" Aeris covered up, swiftly moving her hand across the table and knocking Pete to the floor. Cloud started crying in a little corner. Luckily, everyone ignored him.

"Alright, so what are we going to do? This _is_ a party…isn't it?" Kouga inquired, looking around. There were a few couches and arm chairs bunched up randomly in the huge ballroom, and some doors, one of them leading to large dining area. So much for a motel…

"Yeah, I'm skipping a presidential luncheon for this…it better be worth my time," Envy whined.

"I know! Let's have an icebreaker!" Tidus jumped up happily. Everyone, surprised at his intelligent-for-once remark, nodded. So our little friend ran off somewhere to get something.

Five minutes of waiting ensued.

"Okay. I'm back with the icebreaker!" Tidus said happily, carrying a rather heavy-looking bucket. The others stared at him questioningly. He grinned and reached his hand inside the bucket.

"Here's an ice cube for all of you!" He chucked an ice cube at everyone, unfortunately hitting Ed in the face and rendering him unconscious. No one seemed to care.

"Okay…so what the hell does this have to do with getting to know people?" Kikyou asked.

"Ummm…nothing? But who wants to waste their time getting to know _you_? It's way more fun breaking ice with a hammer," Tidus said, pulling out a large wooden mallet. The rest shrugged and so our little people took turns smashing ice with a large wooden mallet, on top of Edward's face.

"This is fun!" Al squeaked, 'accidentally' hitting Ed in a place where the sun-don't shine, "THIS IS PAYBACK, NII-SAN, FOR THE TIME WHERE YOU MADE ME EAT CAT IN THAT CANADIAN RESTAURANT!"

"Eat…cat!" Mimori cried, "THAT'S IT!" She grabbed the mallet, and soon everyone was taking turns trying to break Ed, rather than the ice cubes. Aeris and Yuna, seeing as they would have to pay a few medical bills if they continued, forced the mallet away from them.

"You ruined my fun!" Cougar complained, joining Cloud in his little corner.

"Well, now that we got _that _out of our systems…who be up for truth or dare, yo?" Inuyasha suggested. An evil grin appeared on Roy's face as he glanced at Ed, now fully conscious and rubbing bruises that had appeared randomly all over his body.

"Okay, who shall commence the activity of Inuyasha's delight?" Ryuhou questioned.

"How do you play truth or dare?" Ayame asked.

"You'll find out eventually…" Riza sighed.

"I'LL GO FIRST!" Roy said, jumping up and down and grinning like mad, "okay then…FULLMETAL!" Ed glanced up, unknowingly. As soon as he saw the gleam in Roy's eyes he started whimpering.

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**Author's Note: **So yeah, there's chapter 3! -grin- Just keep reviewing, and you get more stories!


	4. Boxers or Briefs?

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing. Thanks.

**Author's Note:** Okay so it's Kawaii here. I'm finally updating! I can't say enough how sorry I am about the delay... School's been eating up all our time. -sighs- And besides, we still don't see a large number in the review catagory. That doesn't exactly make me the happiest person alive. But I do hope the numbers change... for the story's sake. -hint hint wink wink- Yeah, you guys have to review. I'm serious! It would make me verrrrrry happy!

**Yay for Reviews:  
Mookie and Moofie: **Hahahaha! We're so glad you think the fic's funny! -grin- Please keep writing! And I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**HikariUSA: **Yeah, and things only get crazier... -wink- hahaha enjoy this chapter!  
**KariMezmaru: **Yay! More people think our fic is funny! Enjoy the chapter and keep reviewing!  
**death88: **You know, there really is no need to review in both stories...but thanks anyway! Hahahaha i'll answer the questions for you again:  
1) He has a death wish  
2) What?  
Hahahahah thanks for both of the reviews! Write more to us and I hope you like this chappie!  
**evilchik:** Hahahahaha! Oh noooooo! the l337! Gosh, that stuff makes my head hurt... -- Thanks for the reivew! Truth or dare... -sighs-  
**Mookie and Moofie: **Again? Yaaaaaaay 2 reviews! -hugs- Yep, truth or dare! And with these guys...you can bet it's gonna be pretty interesting...  
**ToAsTeR: **Hahahah I'm so glad you like the fic! Yeah, they're all pretty insane...Please review again!   
**kaitou angel: **We're finally updating! Sorry for the delay... -cries- But we're glad you liked the chapter. Write to us soon!  
**kingdomhearts123liz: **Hahahaha more penguins! I love penguins... heehee. Enjoy our next chapter!  
**ScarvsState: **Hahahahaha you found us! Sorry you couldn't find us earlier... -sniffs- we missed hearing from you! We're glad you like our new fic...pleeeeeeease keep writing! And our ages? We're both 14. But Akuhei thinks she's 15...since she's turning so in2 months. And I just turned 14 on Saturday. -sings happy birthday to self- Hahahah sorry about that... Enjoy the fic!

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**Chapter Four…Boxers or Briefs? **

"W-what?"

"Truth or dare!"

"Ummm…truth…?"

"BE A MAN, SON!" Sesshomaru encouraged the shaking alchemist.

"Uhhh…okay…dare?" Ed replied hesitantly.

"Heeheeheeheehee…" Roy laughed. Everyone looked sympathetically at Edward, "FULLMETAL – I DARE YOU TO STRIP DOWN TO YOUR BOXERS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN THE ROOM, WHILE SINGING 'I'M TOO SEXY' OFF KEY!" Ed wanted to die. His face was a deathly shade of green.

"Come on, brother!" Al said, laughing silently.

"TAKE IT OFF, BABY!" Envy screeched.

"How about…no!" Ed screamed.

"How about…if you don't do it, we'll get Roy to do it for you?" Winry snickered. Ed gave her a death glare, "he's always so insecure…he needs a little push, if you know what I mean...but I don't see why he's so worried, he does it all the time for me," Everyone had eyes as wide as skillets.

"Ummm…you can stop explaining. Really," Yuna twitched.

And so our poor, innocent Edward commenced with his taking-off of garments, which shouldn't be taken off, while muttering 'I'm Too Sexy' as softly as he could.

"Well, since the poor boy is losing his reputation by the second, how about we go on as Ed continues undressing?" Mimori asked, not wanting Ed to suffer any more than he already had.

"Okay then, Edward, it's your turn!" Roy laughed as every head turned towards Ed, just as he was taking off his pants. He started blushing like mad. Poor boy…

"FINE!" Ed yelled angrily, "Okay Mr. Fluffy, let's see YOU be a man! TRUTH OR DARE?"

"That insolent human expects this Sesshomaru to pick dare? WELL HE SHALL NOT HAVE IT! I PICK TRUTH!"

"Okay!" Ed started laughing maniacally, "MR. FLUFFY…WHO DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON!" Everyone sweat-dropped.

"What kind of a gay 3rd-grade question was _that?_" Kazuma asked, dumbfounded. Ed seemed unshaken, as he was still awaiting the response.

"…OKAY I ADMIT IT!" Sesshomaru cried, giving up. The question was just too mind-numbing. "I have a crush on…Winry!" Sesshomaru jumped on the poor unsuspecting mechanic, and Ed turned a deeper shade of green. No one knew how exactly it had started, but soon enough Sesshomaru and Ed were having a catfight, yanking at each other's hair. Unfortunately, Ed was still wearing nothing but his boxers. Winry had crawled away as fast as possible, having stolen Sesshomaru's boa.

"My…precioussssssssssssssssssss…" Winry whispered, stroking the boa.

"Moving on," Aeris said, already disturbed by today's events, "Who wants to go next?"

"I shall take over," Ryuhou announced. "Miss Kiryu, I dare you to give Kazuma a lap dance."

"Don't I get to pick truth or dare!" Mimori yelled.

"Oh…no. Alright, Kazuma, hand over the $11.50." Kazuma passed the change to Ryuhou, grinning.

"Here, put this on," Roy said, pushing a skimpy red dress along with hooker boots towards her.

"Okay, but I'll need at least 6 bucks from you for that…" Ryuhou sighed. Roy gave him the money. "Well, commence already, Mimori _dear_."

"Why wouldn't she give _you _a lap dance, Ryuhou?" Al questioned.

"FINE! …that'll be $25.80." Ryuhou said, holding his hand out. Al, being too stupid to know that Ryuhou could easily get Mimori to give him a lap dance at any time, gave him the money. "So, Miss Kiryu, you're holding up the game…" Mimori sobbed and commenced with the…dancing… -cough-

"Well, I want a turn. Watching you guys play is boring," Tidus said, slightly upset since he didn't get a lap dance. "Okay, Yuna, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Hmmmm…are you really a girl?"

"Uhh…yes?"

"Prove it!"

"WHAT!" All the guys had eager looks in their eyes.

"Yes, prove it! I'm sure we're all questioning your femininity." Yuna looked like she wanted to beat the shit out of Tidus.

"Alright, Tidus," Yuna said sweetly, "come here, would you?" She gestured towards a random closet.

"Okay!" Tidus said happily, getting up and walking into the closet. She followed soon after.

"Lucky bastard…" Kazuma sighed.

Suddenly screams could be heard coming from the closet. All the guests stared at each other nervously, not knowing why there was screaming. Soon enough, Yuna walked out of the closet, a smile on her face as she smoothed out her skirt.

"Wow. He probably had the time of his life…" Roy said sadly. Tidus then crawled out of the doorway, bruises and scratches all over him, some bleeding.

"And _that_, honey, is why you NEVER ask a girl if she's really a girl," Yuna sat back down next to Aeris.

"True that!" Winry agreed enthusiastically, wrench in hand. Ed blushed and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Okay, I'm taking over," Riza said, wanting a turn. "Mustang…er…sir, truth or dare."

"Dare…duh."

"Fine. I'll be right back…" Riza then left the room. Everyone stared after her. She returned soon enough to avoid filler conversations.

"Okay. I have three glasses of water here. Two are filled with toilet water and one is filled with regular water. I dare you to pick one and drink it." Roy studied the glasses.

"Ummm…you labeled them, Riza…" he said after he noticed duck-tape labels on each glass. "Ohhhhh, I get it! YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME, AREN'T YOU! HA! THEN I PICK THIS GLASS!" He held up a glass, labeled 'toilet water' and sipped it.

"Sir, I wasn't trying to trick you…" Riza muttered as she saw Roy gag on the disgusting water. "Wait, don't stop. You have to finish it." She grinned as Roy forced down the rest. Eww…

"I want to go next," Kouga said, "Okay, Aeris."

Silence.

"Aeris."

More silence.

"AERIS!"

"SHE'S NOT HERE, DAMMIT!" Inuyasha yelled, losing his patience.

"Oh, well then, Inuyasha!" The dog boy gulped, "truth or dare?"

"Well…unlike my sad excuse of a brother, I'm going to pick DARE, foo."

"YOU SUCK AT BEING GHETTO! SHUT UP!" Kikyou yelled, jabbing him in the back with an arrow tip.

"Okay, dare? Let's see…I dare you to lick Kikyou."

"WHAT!" Kikyou screeched.

"Come on, dog boy. Get to the lickin'." Cougar said, reappearing from out of the corner.

"That sounds so wrong…" Al sighed.

"Do I _have _to?" Inuyasha questioned, "I mean, she cheated on me!"

"Just lick her so the stupid story can continue, dumbass," Cloud said. Every head turned his way, "What? So I'm pissed off…you bastards have a problem with that!" No one questioned him. Inuyasha, now fearing for his life, quickly licked Kikyou on the cheek.

"Wow, you really _are _a dog…" Kikyou said coldly, wiping Inu-slober off of her face.

"Last time I checked my _brother _was too…" Inuyasha murmured, still upset because of their cheatingness.

"KEEP GOING!" Cloud forced.

"Uhh…Mr. Cloud? You don't have to yell…but I'll continue if it makes you happy," Al suggested hopefully.

"Awwwww!" everyone sighed.

"Alright. How about…Ayame! Truth or dare?"

"Me? Ummm…truth?" Ayame replied.

"Okay," Al sat and pondered his question. For a while. A LONG while.

"GOD, AL, JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Ed screamed impatiently, "It's gonna suck anyway!"

"Fine. Okay, Ayame, if you had to f-ck anyone in this room, who would it be and why?"

Silence filled the room as every jaw dropped. Ed, Roy, Riza, and Winry twitched violently. Ayame looked horrified.

"Well, she's gonna pick me, of course," Kouga said matter-of-factly.

"Uhhh…no," Ayame responded, "if it could be _anyone…_hmmmm…probably Roy," Kouga yelped and started sobbing, "and why? Because he's a hott piece of ass." The other girls in the room nodded in agreement, all of their eyes on Roy. Riza turned pink and was trying to stop herself from pulling out any weapons.

"Well, what can I say? I _am_ a stud-muffin…" Roy thought aloud, stroking his chin. Riza smacked him in the back of the head.

"MOVE IT PEOPLE!" Cloud forced yet again.

"Okay, okay! I want to go, since I missed out on the game," Cougar said. "Envy, truth or dare."

"Well, I can't pick truth after the shrimp picked dare…so I pick dare."

"Okay, I dare you to sit in Ed's lap until we eat dinner." Unfortunately for Ed, Cougar didn't notice that he was in his boxers. "Oh, ew…well, have fun with that, Ed."

Envy happily hopped over and on to Ed's minimally clothed lap. Ed started shaking and whimpering like a fat kid without cake.

"Let's end this…it's getting far too M rated…" Riza sighed.

"YES. LET'S," Ed twitched, "WHO'S UP FOR EATING? I LIKE HUNGER… HUNGER IS GOOD… YES, CAKE. PIZZA. CAVIAR!"

"No. Who's up for…erm…juice?" Ryuhou inquired, slightly flushed after Mimori's lap dance.

"Juice?" Ayame asked.

"Wow, you ask a lot of questions…" Roy said.

"Yeah…you know…juice…BARNEY BRING OUT THE SAKE!" Ryuhou screamed, jumping up. **(A/N: Please excuse Ryuhou…he has _totally _lost it…)**

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**Author's Note: **Yeah...Ryuhou's crazy...and an alcoholic... -- So yeah, there's the chappie! Review, and you get more! 


	5. Deja Vu

**Disclaimer:** We don't own any of this. Just the plot.

**Author's Note:** Wow. It's been a **WHILE** you guys... we are so veryyyyy sorry for the HUGE delay. TT You know how it is...with school and not seeing each other often. TT But we're finally updating. Sadly, we won't have enough time anymore to thank the reviewers individually... so we'll just say **thank you to all you guys for the reviewers!** Oh, and that doesn't mean you shouldn't review anymore! -wink- The more reviews...the longer the chapters! If you have any questions, we'll be glad to answer.Enjoy the new chapter!

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**Chapter Five…Deja Vu**

Barney walked into the room.

"Someone call?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ryuhou started, "How about hittin' us up with some juice?"

"You got it," he replied enthusiastically, pulling out a case of sake from his tail. Everyone got up and ran to the purple…thing.

"Hey wait, isn't Ed too young to be drinking?" Roy asked innocently.

"Shut up!" Ed yelled, "err…I mean…no I'm not!"

"I say we throw him in a closet until we're all done drinking to our heart's content," Roy continued, snickering.

"Wait…Almost all of you are too young to drink!" Envy said. "…oh well." He tossed everyone a bottle of sake.

After about an hour of drinking, everyone was quite…drunk?  
"Yeahhhh who's too young to drink NOW Colonel Shit?" Ed mumbled from the floor.

"Put a sock in it, boy," Sesshomaru slurred. The ballroom was a mess. Or rather, the people in the ballroom were a mess. The couches were occupied by those too drunk to stand, while the floor was home to those too drunk to make it to a couch. The few, who attempted to stand, failed miserably and ended up on the floor again. Poor guys…

"I think –hic- I need summore –hic- juice…" Inuyasha stumbled to say, "Howza –hic- 'bout it, Barney ol' buddy ol' pal?" Unfortunately for Inuyasha, Barney was too busy flirting with Winry to get more sake.

"Why thank you!" Winry replied to the dinosaur, "you've filled out nicely, too!" she started giggling, as Barney groped her, and fell backwards onto the couch.

"Ugh…I'm feeling –gag- sick…" Ayame stated, trying to stand up, "I'll be right back…" she stumbled out of the room, holding on to the walls for support.

"When you're out with your friendssss in your new Mercedes Benzzzz!" Envy slurred happily.

"And you're…" Ed continued, an arm around the palm tree.

"ON DRUGSSS!" They both sang. "Give it to me!"

"WE ARE ALL ON DRUGSSS!" Inuyasha and Ryuhou joined in, off key. "Yeahhh."

"Give me somma that shtuffff…" Al said, falling over.

"Me thinks you've had too mucha –hic- sake, young man," Mimori giggled as she tried to help the boy up. Too bad she failed, due to her drug…er…sake overdose.

"WE ARE ALL ON DRUGSSS YEAH!" everyone started singing, off key.

"NO ONE EXPECTSSSS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Al screamed, jumping and throwing empty sake bottles at random people.

"OY!" Kikyou yelled after having a bottle thrown at her head, "Don'ttt throw things! Be a good –hic- person and RECYCLE!"

"Hey!" Roy said, picking up a bottle (after attempting three times and failing because he thought Ed's boot was a sake bottle), "Who's up fo' spin the bottle?"

"Yeeahhhhh…" Cougar agreed, "I gotsa pocket fulla change right here with me! Ryuhou – how's $8.95 sound to youz?"

"I think that be purdy nice, right thurrr…" Ryuhou said, shoving Mimori towards the man with the money.

"Do yo thanggg, Mimoriiiiiiiii," Kouga slurred, "Boy the musiccccc makes me loose controoooooool!"

"Howzaa bout that game-o spin the bottle?" Riza said, crawling towards an empty sake bottle.

"Well, the little lady said sooooo," Ed said, looking up from the floor, "I says we doo what she wants orr we loseeee our headsssss!"

"Alrightyyy peoples," Tidus said, "Let's make a circleee." The group all crawled to the spot where Riza sort of…sat.

"Let'sssss begin!" Riza said, putting the bottle in the middle of the badly formed circle.

"I WANNA SHTART!" Kazuma yelled, spinning the bottle. It landed on Yuna. They tried to kiss, but missed, both falling on each other in the process.

"Close enufffffff," Yuna droned, spinning the bottle. It spun rapidly, finally slowing down its pace and landing on…Inuyasha. So they…yeah, you know. And then it was Inuyasha's turn!

It spun, and spun, and spun some more. Finally landing in between Kikyou and Kouga.

"Whaddo I do now?" the dog boy asked himself, looking between the two, "well, they both look purdy nice…I'll pickem both!" So Inuyasha, the lucky dog, made out with both the love of his life and the other guy. So Kikyou took her turn, deciding that Kouga was too drunk to go. The bottle spun and landed on Roy.

"Dontcha mind if I do!" Kikyou grinned as she launched herself on the hottie. They shared a friendly kiss, YES REALLY, and soon enough it was Roy's turn. But before he got the chance to touch the bottle, a penguin showed up.

"Excuse me, sir, I do believe it is time to polish the young master's spin-the-bottle…bottle," so the little guy grabbed the bottle, polished it carefully, and placed it back down. "There you are, sir." The penguin waddled away to…nowhere.

"Okaaaaaaay itsa muh turn," Roy said as he spun the newly polished bottle. It spun a ton (**A/N: RHYME!**) and landed on…Edward.

"Whaddo I hafta do?" Ed said, eyeing the bottle.

"This!" Roy said as he grabbed Ed. The two made out passionately for a few minutes…until Envy got jealous and split them apart. Ed looked quite…pleased with himself. O.o And Roy looked…as normal as if he made out with men on a daily basis. Good thing they're drunk and no one will ever know about this ever again… or so they thought…

**---Off…somewhere…else?--- **

"Hehe…are you sure they won't find out about this later, Pierre?" Sebastian asked his partner-in-crime.

"Yeah, of course they won't, you 'tard. I _am_ the master, you know…" Pierre said, puffing out his chest haughtily.

"Whatever… 'master.'" Sebastian muttered to himself.

**---Back to the drunk people---**

Ed took his turn at the bottle. It landed on…him? WTF? …

"Whaddo I do now?" Ed said, eyeing the bottle.

"Woah, déjà vu…" Tidus said, rubbing his face.

"Duuuude, you speak Italian?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.

"It's French, maaaaan…" Cloud said, leaning against Sesshomaru.

"Vous parlez français aussi? C'est très bon! J'adore le français. C'est comme le lange de les personnes Russie!" Al said happily.

"Duuuude, you speak Italian, too?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.

"Woah, you're right, maaaan…killer!" Cloud agreed. What a fucktard… Anyway, back to Ed and his…situation.

"Whaddo I do now?" Ed repeated, eyeing the bottle.

"Uhh…fuck yourself?" Envy asked from his place on the floor. Too bad his drunk state didn't interfere with his evil schemes… "Wait! I gotsit!" Envy jumped up and transformed himself…into Edward.

"Okay, squeakie, time to fuck me! Er…yourself!" Envy grinned, swaying slightly due to alcohol overdose.

"Woah, is that me?" Ed asked, wide eyed. "I have a flabby ass…damn."

"Whatever, let's go in that closet!" Envy suggested.

"Duuude, I can't fuck myself…I'd be cheating on Riza…with myself! Let's just make out…a lot…" Ed replied. Envy looked down at the floor sadly, and Roy eyed Riza questioningly. She was busy staring at…dust fly.

"F-iiiiiiiiine!" Envy sighed, giving up. Hey, a passionate make-out session with Ed? What more could a palm tree ask for… So 'Ed' jumped on Ed and the two Eds busied themselves in making out with the other Ed, and so in the end there were two rather content-looking Edwards.

"Damn! I'm a great kisser," Ed sighed.

"No, I am!" The other Ed replied.

"Ohhh shutsup, youz two…er…youz. And lets continue the gaaaaaaaaame!" Cloud yelled impatiently. Envy transformed back into his usual palm-tree self before Ed could see, and spun the bottle. It landed on Ed. WTF?

"Woah, déjà vu…" Tidus said, rubbing his face.

"Duuuude, you speak Italian?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.

"It's French, maaaaan…" Cloud said, leaning against Sesshomaru.

"Vous parlez français aussi? C'est très bon! J'adore le français. C'est comme le lange de les personnes Russie!" Al said happily.

"Duuuude, you speak Italian, too?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.

"Wait… déjà vu… shut the fuck up!" Riza yelled, annoyed. The effects of the alcohol were starting to rub off…how sad!

"Hey…Envy can't kiss Ed!" Winry said, jealous. "He already had a turn!"

"Fine!" Envy yelled. Anddddd…just to spite her, he handed the bottle over to Yuna.

"I…can't play. I have to go find the other hostess!" Yuna said, handing the bottle back to Naruto and walking out of the room. WTF?

"Huh? What am I doing here?" He said, scratching his head stupidly.

"SASUKE!" Sakura jumped on him.

"AHHHHHHHHH! HELP! RAPE! RAPE!" Sasuke screamed, begging for mercy.

"Anyone got Ramen?" Naruto inquired.

"Uhhhh…" Cougar said, uneasily.

"You two…get a room. Sasuke, has that book not taught you anything? You've had it for two weeks!" Kakashi sighed. Sasuke turned bright red.

"Umm…will you four just get OUT OF HERE!" Mimori interrupted, confused and lost. The four got up and walked out.

"Yeah, fine. There are less girls than I thought…damn…can't pick up any chicks here…I wonder if any of the men are worth the trouble…?" Kakashi grumbled, leading the way out.

"MOVING ON!" Al yelled, twitching. Envy still held the bottle.

"Well, I still have to get rid of this thing…Fiiine Winry, you can have it." He turned to give it to her, but she had left.

"She probably went to go cry…" Cougar mumbled. "Stupid emotional women."

"Whatever." Envy said, getting impatient. "Just take it, Riza." He threw the bottle to her. She shrugged and spun it. It spun and spun and spun and landed on Edward.

"Okay, I'm getting tired of this…" Ryuhou muttered.

"Woah… déjà-" Tidus began.

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" Cloud yelled, kicking Tidus in the back and knocking him over. Tidus fell over and his face hit the floor. He sniffled.

"Alright. Come on, Edward." Riza said, moving close to the spaced-out idiot. Roy twitched as Riza kissed Ed on the cheek. Alphonse took a turn at spinning the bottle. And it landed on-

"-WHAT THE HELL!" Roy screamed. "EDWARD! AGAIN!"

"I KNOW WHAT'S GOING! YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO RAPE ME! AND NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN AL INTO THE SCHEME! INCEST!" Ed yelled, paranoid and twitching. "NO MORE KISSES FROM EDWARD!" He jumped up and started searching for someone. "WHERE'S WINRY! NO! MY SOURCE OF PROTECTION!" He sat on the ground and started crying.

Alphonse sat, white as a sheet and left eye twitching slightly. "Me? And Edward? WHY!" he screamed and rocked back and fourth.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? SPIN-THE-BOTTLE IS OFFICIALLY OVER!" Kikyou screamed, getting up and tossing the bottle over her shoulder. It landed on Sesshomaru's head and smashed.

"Huh? What was _that?" _he asked stupidly. "Hmmm…dinner time!" He held out his hand to help Ed up.

"Why…thank you!" Ed said as he took up the offer. Suddenly, Sesshomaru let go and Ed landed in Envy's lap. "Oh…shit…" he sighed.

"Heeheehee! Why Edo, are you upset?" Envy asked innocently. He got a glare in return.

"Let's just go. I'm starving…" Barney said, getting up from the sofa. "And you guys were amusing to watch play spin-the-bottle. And Ed's probably lost his virginity."

"Who said he had any to begin with?" Al snickered. Ed threw his shoe at him. "Well, you and Winry are always so, you know…_close._ What with all your 'mechanical business.' I mean, how else is she supposed to fix your leg? The freaking metal stops halfway up your thigh…and you guys do seem to take an _unusually _long time…" Ed turned purple, and everyone in the room was snickering and pointing.

"Just don't rape her next time, okay?" Al finished.

"No…don't let her rape _you_ next time." Roy said calmly as he helped a giggling Riza up to her feet. Ed was twitching.

"And you guys call _me_ a dog…" Inuyasha sighed, helping up Kikyou. She was slightly red, but had managed to keep her composure during Al's speech.

"You pigs…" Ryuhou scrunched up his nose, glancing at Mimori out of the corner of his eye. He gracefully helped her up, 'accidentally' causing her to fall into his arms. She blushed slightly and smiled at him, but to his disappointment got off and held her hand out to Cougar and Kazuma. **(A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA LOSER!) **After everyone except Ed and Envy were standing, they left off to eat dinner.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!" Ed screamed after them as Envy held him back as not to let him get up.

"Heeheehee…are you nervous _yet _Hagane no Chibi?" Envy grinned as he stroked Ed's braid. Ed twitched and shot up off of him. Envy rolled on the floor laughing as Ed ran as fast as a bullet. Too bad Ed didn't know he was just kidding…

"Ah well. I'm gonna make that punk's night completely miserable and scarring. I'm so mean…Heeheehee!" Envy snickered as he helped himself up and headed towards the dining room.


End file.
